duit.....??

it's all about money...
well... there are rumors that my allowance will be increased...hehe...if so,i will be so hepi...does it enough to get my new CRV soon? hehe...what a nuisance.. collecting RM1 per day won't bring the dream closer yet. haha! but...i really want the CRV...looks very nice...hehe..i'm talking (talking @ grumbling?) just like i'm a very successful bisneswuman...hikhikhik...yela.. my sis used to buy it before, but then she canceled it. she said she didn't enjoy driving CRV of her friend.

what i want to write here actually is not about CRV, but my financial planning for 2008...

1. i want to sew as my part time hobby and side income. hehe...includes beading works..do i have ample time to do it? hurm...well...we'll see...
2. kak attracts me to be a dealer of a muslimah swimming suits from magazine "Anis". as there are no dealer from east coast yet. and she gave the opportunity to me and mama also wants it. hehe...and my target is encik adnan and ummi as they have a boutique and a pre-school centre. er...but...does it sounds good? (i haven't tell fahmi yet).
3. this is not about my financial plan. for the Alumni, syazwi noted me as the vice president for both programmes that will be held soon. hurm... i've never expected it as i dream for lower duty.
   
4. lastly, suggested by kak again, and related to my social skills, she wants me to be a volunteer at Rumah Tunas Harapan Pakatan Kasih as a first step in socialize. and soon she said i will be more open to the world..

hehe...i don't know whether my English is correct or not...

sayang dah tidur....?

Melihat orang yang kita sayang pada saat dia
tidur…..

Renungkan/lihatlah betapa sayangnya kita pada mereka…..

Pernahkah anda menatap orang-orang
yang anda sayang saat mereka sedang tidur?
Kalau belum, cubalah sekali saja menatap
mereka saat sedang tidur.

Saat itu yang tampak adalah ekspresi paling
wajar dan paling jujur dari seseorang.

Seorang artis yang ketika di panggung
begitu cantik dan gemerlap pun
akan tampak polos dan jauh
berbeza jika ia sedang tidur.

Orang paling kejam di dunia pun
jika ia sudah tidur tak akan tampak wajah bengisnya.

Perhatikanlah ayah anda
saat beliau sedang tidur.
Sedarilah, betapa badan yang dulu kuat
dan gagah itu kini semakin tua dan lemah,
betapa rambut-rambut putih
mulai menghiasi kepalanya,
betapa kerut merut mulai terpahat di wajahnya.
Orang inilah yang tiap hari bekerja keras
untuk kesejahteraan kita, anak-anaknya.
Orang inilah, rela melakukan apa saja asal
perut kita kenyang dan pendidikan kita lancar.

Sekarang, beralihlah. …
Lihatlah ibu anda….
Hmm…kulitnya mulai keriput dan tangan
yang dulu halus membelai- belai
tubuh bayi kita itu kini kasar kerana
menempuhi kehidupan yang mencabar demi kita.
Orang inilah yang tiap hari
menguruskan keperluan kita.
Orang inilah yang paling rajin mengingatkan dan
membebeli kita semata- mata
kerana rasa kasih dan sayang,
dan sayangnya, itu sering kita salah ertikan.

Cubalah menatap wajah orang-orang
yang kita cintai..sayangi itu…
Ayah, Ibu, Suami,
Isteri, Kakak, Adik, Anak, Sahabat,
Semuanya…

Rasakanlah sensasi yang timbul sesudahnya.
Rasakanlah energi cinta yang mengalir
perlahan-lahan
saat menatap wajah mereka yang terlelap itu.
Rasakanlah getaran cinta yang mengalir
deras ketika mengingat betapa
banyaknya pengorbanan yang telah
dilakukan orang-orang itu untuk
kebahagiaan anda. Pengorbanan yang kadang-kadang tertutupi oleh
salah faham kecil yang entah kenapa selalu saja nampak besar.

Secara ajaib Tuhan mengatur agar
pengorbanan itu akan tampak lagi
melalui wajah-wajah jujur mereka
saat sedang tidur.
Pengorbanan yang kadang melelahkan
serta memenatkan mereka
namun enggan mereka ungkapkan.
Dan ekspresi wajah ketika tidur pun
membantu untuk mengungkap segalanya.
Tanpa kata, tanpa suara dia
berkata… “betapa lelahnya..penatnya aku hari ini”.
Dan penyebab lelah dan penat itu?
Untuk siapa dia berpenat lelah
Tak lain adalah
KITA…..

Suami yang bekerja keras mencari nafkah,
isteri yang bekerja keras mengurus dan
mendidik anak, juga rumah.
Kakak, adik, anak, dan sahabat yang
telah menemani hari-hari suka dan duka
bersama kita.

Resapilah kenangan-kenangan manis dan
pahit yang pernah terjadi dengan
menatap wajah-wajah mereka.
Rasakanlah betapa kebahagiaan dan
rasa terharu seketika menerpa jika
mengingat itu semua.

Bayangkanlah apa yang akan terjadi jika
esok mereka “orang-orang terkasih &
tersayang itu” tak lagi membuka matanya,
untuk selama2nya …………

untuk ramadhan kali ini

this is my voice during the last Ramadhan...i only get no time to post it before...

Untuk Ramadhan kali ini…

Aku teramat bersyukur padaMu…

kerana Kau berikan aku air mata..

yang ku tunggu sekian lama..

yang ku tunggu untuk ku sucikan hati..

yang ku tunggu untuk ku takuti QadarMu..

Tuhan..

Namun aku jahil

Adakah airmata ini benar-benar untukku

Atau hanya sekadar persinggahan

Yang biasa bertukar persis mimpi

Tuhan…

Dulu yang gelap pekat ingin ku terangkan..

Dulu yang pahit ingin aku maniskan

Dulu yang terpalit noda ingin ku sucikan

Dulu yang kosong ingin ku penuhkan

Tuhan…

Mutiara ini masih tak henti mengalir…

Mengenangkan kesucian RamadhanMu

Yang terlalu suci teramat bersih

Sedangkan hatiku

Masih kelam suram

Masih keras tegar

Masih kerdil

22:00 sept12,07

...2007...

so long time...almost a year...hehe...since this is my personal blog...so the posts are also personal to me...

in my 1st BIG [Bina Insan Guru] ck zenol had asked me to jump into the TASIK KENYIR...hehe..that was really unforgettable...yes...i dun know how tu swim...sangatlah takotnyer...but...aku terjun jugak...hehe...keras kepala katakan...

trip to cameron...a class trip...handled by jimmy...nothing to do melainkan jalan2...its such a good trip to enjoy...but not good enough to proof that we're proffesional...hehe...urm...also with the trip...

i bought my DSC-W35 7.2megapixel...it costs RM799...wif 512MB memory stick duo (RM100 lbh kurg...lupa..) i bought it on april 8...

for the exam on may...i'm not fully prepared...i joined kem alam sekitar at the end of may...i knew bout "kulat susu rimau"...hehe...mama then asked me to buy it more...tapi...mana nk carik?

semester 2 begins wif me as a PKK...hard to do all the responsibilities.. tapi...carry on...hehe...and the discipline problems of my classmate became the top story of the year!! hehe...thanx buddies for the conference...i know myself better...susah...pahit...tapi telan jer....hehe...

when the pointer comesout.....i wish i could reseat my exam back....huh...

for the SBE...my 1st was not as gud as i want...partnered with azam from raja melewar....but my second is really great!! it makes me eager to be posting in school....hehe...yela....

then...October comes...with Allah blessings...ma and abah went to Mecca...with kakak...thanx God... Alhamdulillah...although i have to raya with abe pik n yeh...but i know who surina is...huh.. dun want to talk bout her....it broke my heart to pieces..............

early november....3 of us...went to register our Hajj....hehe....in 2018....urm....i really want it....go to Mecca with ma and abah....hopefully.....

and also in november...i sat for my final semester exam...hehe...with my blurred vision...Hakim tested his Ultraman power on my spec...hehe...patah dah.... really marah of him...tapi budak2....

5th Dec....my appoinment at USM...my power of lenses increased 50 each...just after i stepped out i went to focus point...i got my new look on tuesday dec11.....

for my sewing project...i've done my first beading work for my baju raya...simple but raised good attention from friends of mine...ecah gave a kain to sew,but i dun take it...coz i'm not ready to sew lining....and for my hols, i sew lining baju kurung kembang and tudung...for the tudung, hopes that it will come out with embroidery for hari raya haji...hopefully so....coz i got my new eyes!! hehe...

for the charity....huh....very pening kepala......of the kambing, of the OKU, of the anak yatim tunas harapan, and olso rumah seri kenangan....if they planned it earlier@properly...it shoud be done smoothly.....

urm....

when is the next post? hehe....

sister in law

hehe...
so far...i've three sisters in law...but one of them had divorced...
having them in my life provide a new way of thinking in me myself...
i learnt....lot of things

i learnt...
how to be kind with the 'new' family...
how to build the skills...to emerge in the new environment...

i learnt...
how to be a good cook...
how important to a wife to have an excellent skill in cooking favourite dishes of your husband...
how important in taking care of husband...

i learnt...
even i am a career woman, i hve to take care of my spouse...

hehe....

do you ever think.....

what would be...
in my 'new' family soon..............
especially 'ibu mertuaku' @ mother in law of mine.....................???????

hurm.....
think it deeply...............

akulah kekasihmu_francisca peter

Di pertemuan semusim yang lalu
Harumnya suasana
Kehadiranmu sewangi haruman
Menyegarkan perasaan
Tanpa ku menduga
Bagaikan lautan menghempas
Menghanyutkan daku
Terlontar jauh dari sisimu
Mengapa mesti terpisah
Sedangkan aku sabar dalam kesetiaan
Biarkan wajah rinduku terdampar sepi
Menunggu berakhirnya nafas ini
Sejenak itu aku menyedari
Betapa sayangnya aku
Andainya dikau menyesali diri
Pulanglah kerna akulah kekasihmu

...2007 a.k.a being 20...

77 days to complete 20 years of my life...
i've been breathing for 7269 days in this unexpected world...

this 2007 started with.....distraught....

almost all my plans ruined...and i really feel lost...
no one could understand me...no one knows my feelings...no one stands in my place..no one...that is why...i have no one...no one to share with...no one...peoples around me...doing hypocracy....asking me to do what i couldn't do on my own...and i lost my strength...for the first 4 years soon...i do not know what my life will be...i lost my motivation...uh...no one will keep his eye on me...
no one...
no one...
no one...

i rather be insane...i rather be ill...i do not want to further my study...useless...

and i do not want to plan anything for this whole year...........

....in distraught....

...19...

...1...9...
the smallest and the biggest significant numbers...
and...
also represent the toughest in the rest of my life...
happines...obstacles...distraught...self confidence...caring...love....and more...
and it really matures me a lot....
changing my view of life...my way of thinking...being closer to the Almighty...closer to my family...reveal the responsibilties....

the most unforgetable...
i'd been more responsible...
to my mom...dad...siblings...
make me understand more about others feelings

in making friends....
at last i realize who are my true friends...
thinking positive to everything around us...
my fault...not appreciating the closest person...that sometimes hurts her very much...i'm so sorry...
and also i finally knew...even a person showing negative habit, not all of her personality is negative...she might understands u better than the positive one...

in love...
uh...happy even sometimes hurted...that's the truth...in any relationship...even between husband and wife... Tan Sri P.Ramlee said, "sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit"
and the negative part may strengthen the bond of love...

in planning my life...
i want to complete my study....Dr. Suhaila Daud....by 35....god willing...Insyaalah...
from 1.4 ATOS Prima...i changed my dream car to Hyundai Getz...

in learning new skills....
i've polished my computer skills...photoshop 7...swish...and few other skills....
i also improved my driving skills...driving from gunung to dungun is the most unforgetable experience...with an auto and a manual car...they both gave me different experience respectively...

in other words...i'm happy being 19....

...new 2007...

dh lama tak nulis dlm ni...
n sepanjang kelamaan itu, memanglah amat banyak yang dilalui... suka duka...pahit manis...

being 19....
matures me a lot...
di samping kesalahan yang memang banyak...namun pahit itu mendatangkan kekerasan hati...