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i live in a world...a changing world..mylife is also changable...all things that i have are not mine...yes i know it...i'm not the owner of my soul...i'm not the creator of my money...my emotion is from Allah...my previous strength. now i dont have the strengh. at all. 

yes. Smiling is one of cure. but. where is it? my smile? my positive thinking? yes i heve ways to ponder awhile. doing a stduy of universe, i understand Allah. 

with all the 'disasters' passed, i realise. these are warnings from Allah. mungkin aku jauh. atau mungkin aku lupa pada kewajipanku. aku hampa. aku hilang arah. aku keliru. aku tidak tahu. marini. a name that can cool me down. a name that can make me smile. a person who care. a person who understands. 

it starts from my handphone. my 3315 nokia given by mama on 13 jan 2004. it was misplaced. huh..... mama, i'm so sorry. 2nd. my purse. i was really sick of thinking it. i do not care about mykad, CDL, kamdar, RM50. but a picture of abah. oh no. i cant resist. cry and cry. 3rd. my crocodile sandal brought with mama. missing at masjid muhammadi. ooh Allah. latest. my kolej kediaman kad. huh. i'm sick. 

now. all things are together. i lost my strength. i really want to talk with anyone. but who? xkan aku nk call orgyg tgh mghrpkan balasan cintaku? tidak!! biarpun niat di hatiku hanya sekadar suka2, tp aku akan merosakkan hariku dan hatinya. oh Allah. aku betul2 mengharapkan Mu...